Feeling so small...
After forever, I've decided to write in this thing again. I know...amazing.
We were invited to play at a camp for the first week of July, we excepted. The camp was amazing. I must say, it was hard work. We woke up everyday, very early and worked til the early morning show, the worked some more (practice and whatnot), then had lunch, then played at night, then worked, and then played again and campfire...dinner in there somewhere. I noticed that it was amazing. I enjoyed the work so much. It was like working construction during Jubilation...it was really hard and tiring, but still fun and very rewarding. I can't wait to do it more often. Perhaps we will get the honor to make it our careers. THat would be sweet.
I was thinking about a good song to quote in this entry, and unfortunately, I couldn't think of something right away. It took a lot of time and I still have yet to have ONE song sticking out in the open abyss of my brain. heh.
During the camp Keith spoke on Isaiah 6. "Here I Am, LORD. Send Me!" Isaiah was a pretty cool guy. A prophet at the words finest. Seriously. He has this amazing vision. In it, he sees the glory of God filling a great throne room. Like, God...so big in all that He Is...FILLS the whole room. This is where we meet those really wierd angels with a ton of wings. They have like, 2 covering their feet (too dirty to be revealed in front of God), 2 that they fly with, and (get this) 2 that cover their faces (because God is too great to look at). I'm really not sure how they got anywhere. They couldn't walk because they'd be stumbling on the wings, they couldn't fly because they couldn't see in front of them anyway because of the wings covering their faces...wierd. Anyway, Angels...in all of their holiness had to cover themselves before God, yet Isaiah is looking at God straight on. Here, he realizes that he really sucks. This guy, who on earth is a pretty good guy, is like "crap! i'm ruined because i've seen all His glory and i'm not good enough for that, i can't take it, i'm gona die and it's all my fault. I have done so much wrong. my lips are dirty. my people are dirty." woe is me basically. then, one of the angels gets a salad tong thing and gets a hot coal from the alter where God is, puts it in it's hand (why were the tongs necessary), and touches Isaiah's lips. The angel is like "stop freaking out. i touched this hot coal to your lips (duh) and now you are clean."
God is upset. He's like "Man! Who can we send? (trinity that is)"
Isaiah steps it up here, instead of thinking about every reason why he shouldn't answer and start looking around the room saying "i don't know God...all these guys are flyin around blind..." He steps up to the plate and does what we all wish we would have done..."Here am I LORD. Send Me!"
God has placed a calling in all of us. He definitely wants us to except the calling. Many people, will never even admit that their whole lives revolved around for searching for God...and, thus, will never find Him. But God's people definitely hava a calling to go, you know. Like, He's sitting there watching everything and he knows people are lost and searching and He knows that some have found that missing piece (Him) but aren't willing to "go" and help the others. "who shall we send?"---------- No answer.
Dude! I want to be like the big Ise-man. "Here I am LORD! Send me!!!!"
Chris Tomlin says it pretty well:
"Take my will and make it Thine it shall be no longer mine.Take my heart it is Thine own it shall be Thy royal throne.Take my love, my Lord I pour at Your feet its treasure store Take myself and I will be ever, only, all for Thee.Take myself and I will be ever, only, all for Thee.
Here am I, all of me.Take my life, it's all for Thee."
I guess we're all kind of scared. Most of the time, it's not because we're scared of being rejected when witnessing...it's because we're scared to lose what we've built for ourselves. Such a nice world, built by us, for us. Like this: Honestly, I'm scared to live for God sometimes. I don't feel that God wants me to be at a public college as well as a Bible college studying missions. However, I'm scared of the disappointment that may come from my parents, God-fearing people. OR I'm scared that not having a world-approved "back-up plan" might lead to an uncomfortable and scorned lifestyle.
See, this is really not what happened with Isaiah. It's great that it didn't even cross his mind. Can you imagine, "well, give me a few years to get some good credit and a heavy savings account and perhaps a college degree, then I'll be more than happy to go where you wish."
No. See we always hear that a life spent for God is well worth living, however, uncomfortable. BUT whenever we see others do what seems almost irrational and unrealistic for Christ, we jump to the conclusion that they aren't responsible.
What if I told God, "You know, I know you want me here, but i've got to get a degree at a public college first...just in case." That would be rediculous. What happened to, "Look at the birds of the air and the flowers of the field. God continues to feed the birds of the air. No one on earth is as splendid as a lilly in a field! Just as God feads the birds of the air and clothes the flowers of the field, in the same way, he will take care of you! So, dont worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will take care of itself, it has enough troubles of it's own.!"
Instead of believing the Good Book, we've made excuses as to why our oppinions make enough sense to be absolute truths. We are a generation of exceptions. If it makes sense to us, we are an exception to the rule. God makes it clear what HIS oppinions are...they are truths. They are right and just. We have no right to skinny our way around rules because we feel we are perhaps the one exception. There are no exceptions to right and wrong. No exceptions to following Christ without regard to the world's standards.
Perhaps, all of this stems from the idea that everyone has to be happy. Jesus wasn't always happy. He had an unstoppable joy through His Father, but he wasn't always giddy. He felt anguish, pain, anger, and fear. The idea that God himself can openly feel this way, yet we must mask ourselves with smiles to fit into the crowd, is by far one of the great misconceptions of Christianity today. A relationship with Christ is not easy. It is not painless or fearless. The problem is...our pride. While Jesus clearly spoke against pride, we mask it as pure happiness as we galavant around in public. We are so proud of the mask we've painted for everyone to see, this perfect picture of who we'd like to be, that we easily overlook that it was crafted by the hands of our pride. "Blessed are the humble, for they will inherit the earth."
"So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay. If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too. So with a painted grin, I play the part again. So everyone will see me the way that I see them.
Are we happy plastic people? Under shiny plastic steeples? With walls around our weakness And smiles to hide our pain. But if the invitation's open, To every heart that has been broken Maybe then we close the curtain On our stained glass masquerade
Is there anyone who's been there? Are there any hands to raise? Am I the only one who's traded In the altar for a stage? The performance is convincing, And we know every line by heart. Only when no one is watching, Can we really fall apart.
But would it set me freeIf I dared to let you see The truth behind the person That you imagine me to be?"
I'm getting married in 9 days! I'm pretty excited! I can't even explain that feeling to you. So I won't try...just believe me when I say I'm excited.
What else has been on my mind? Oh yes... I was thinking about high school. I was thinking of the people and the friends i had. a lot of them, quite possibly read this through a thread to my facebook. I always wonder if they read this far. If anything i have to say about God is of interest to them. I wonder if they see reality in a relationship with Christ or if they see the same mask i created years ago and willingly flaunted for so long. I doubt christians know the responsibility they have to be real. Pre-christians can smell a mask from oceans away and will use it to barracade the space between them and Christ. I would too. If christians are the same, why be one? Just more rules for no difference. Be careful with who you make yourself out to be.
I had some advice given to me about marriage: "Above everything else, he will appreciate your kindness." It's so true about christianity. Above everything else, they will notice your kindness. Telling a person they're going to hell, perhaps isn't always the very best approach. How about showing them Christ's love through you. I dont' know, i never heard Jesus tell a prostitute that she was going to hell for her sins...he forgave her, and said, 'go...and leave this way of life, this sin.' He showed mercy when no one else would. and he really is the only one with the right to judge and condemn. He's God in the flesh. man, when will we learn.
"Well, I heard you say you would love for a lifetime
And now you complain that a lifetime just doesn't feel right for you
Another casualty of casual love
Another soul out of place, a heart that gave up
Why do we break the promises we make?
Are we living for ourselves?
Don't give up on love and throw it all away
Don't give up on love and let it fall away
When did it become so easy to run from your pain?
Don't give up on love and throw it all away
Well, I heard you say you can't change a stubborn heart
Yeah, I can relate, cause that's how I feel when I talk with you
Why should it take losing everything
To realize it might be time to change?
Your restless heart won't win
Cause you take, but you don't giv
And you'll keep moving on until you learn what love is"
Lastly, before i get caught at work...lol...that isn't a good thing and i should not do that...sorry
I guess I wanted to say that it is important to find joy in Christ. BUT there is a huge difference in being "happy" and having joy. Happiness comes and goes...it's more of an emotion. Joy is something that lasts. Joy is deeply rooted. Joy has a driving power to it, almost like passion. Joy takes time to receive and time to lose. It is okay to have emotions...it is a bad sign if you have lost your joy...or perhaps, if you've never experienced it.
There is a song that I always end up singing when i am reminded of the joy of Christ's love.
I don't know why i do, but i do. so, i figured i'd share my joy with you!
Turn your earT
o Heaven and hear
The noise inside
The sound of angels
The sound of angel's songs
And all this for a King
We could join and sing
"All to Christ the King!"
How constant
How divine
This song of ours will rise
Oh, how constant
How divineT
his love of ours will rise
Will rise...
CHORUS:
O praise Him!
O praise Him!
He is Holy!
He is Holy, yeah!
Turn your gaze
To Heaven and raise
A joyous noise
Oh, the sound of salvation come
The sound of rescued ones
And all this for a king
Angles join to sing
"All for Christ the King!"
CHORUS [2x]
Oh la la la la la...
O pra-ise Him!
O pra-ise Him!
He is Ho-ly!
He is Ho-ly!
How infininte and sweet
This love so rescuing
Oh how infinitely sweet
This great love that has redeemed
As one, we sing...
"Hallelujah!Hallelujah!
He is Ho-ly!He is Ho-ly!" [2x]
O pra-ise Him!O pra-ise Him!
He is Ho-ly!He is Ho-ly!
Oh, La la la la la la...
"Hallelujah!Hallelujah!
He is Ho-ly!He is Ho-ly!"
O pra-ise Him!O pra-ise Him!
He is Ho-ly!He is Ho-ly!
Oh la la la la la la...
We were invited to play at a camp for the first week of July, we excepted. The camp was amazing. I must say, it was hard work. We woke up everyday, very early and worked til the early morning show, the worked some more (practice and whatnot), then had lunch, then played at night, then worked, and then played again and campfire...dinner in there somewhere. I noticed that it was amazing. I enjoyed the work so much. It was like working construction during Jubilation...it was really hard and tiring, but still fun and very rewarding. I can't wait to do it more often. Perhaps we will get the honor to make it our careers. THat would be sweet.
I was thinking about a good song to quote in this entry, and unfortunately, I couldn't think of something right away. It took a lot of time and I still have yet to have ONE song sticking out in the open abyss of my brain. heh.
During the camp Keith spoke on Isaiah 6. "Here I Am, LORD. Send Me!" Isaiah was a pretty cool guy. A prophet at the words finest. Seriously. He has this amazing vision. In it, he sees the glory of God filling a great throne room. Like, God...so big in all that He Is...FILLS the whole room. This is where we meet those really wierd angels with a ton of wings. They have like, 2 covering their feet (too dirty to be revealed in front of God), 2 that they fly with, and (get this) 2 that cover their faces (because God is too great to look at). I'm really not sure how they got anywhere. They couldn't walk because they'd be stumbling on the wings, they couldn't fly because they couldn't see in front of them anyway because of the wings covering their faces...wierd. Anyway, Angels...in all of their holiness had to cover themselves before God, yet Isaiah is looking at God straight on. Here, he realizes that he really sucks. This guy, who on earth is a pretty good guy, is like "crap! i'm ruined because i've seen all His glory and i'm not good enough for that, i can't take it, i'm gona die and it's all my fault. I have done so much wrong. my lips are dirty. my people are dirty." woe is me basically. then, one of the angels gets a salad tong thing and gets a hot coal from the alter where God is, puts it in it's hand (why were the tongs necessary), and touches Isaiah's lips. The angel is like "stop freaking out. i touched this hot coal to your lips (duh) and now you are clean."
God is upset. He's like "Man! Who can we send? (trinity that is)"
Isaiah steps it up here, instead of thinking about every reason why he shouldn't answer and start looking around the room saying "i don't know God...all these guys are flyin around blind..." He steps up to the plate and does what we all wish we would have done..."Here am I LORD. Send Me!"
God has placed a calling in all of us. He definitely wants us to except the calling. Many people, will never even admit that their whole lives revolved around for searching for God...and, thus, will never find Him. But God's people definitely hava a calling to go, you know. Like, He's sitting there watching everything and he knows people are lost and searching and He knows that some have found that missing piece (Him) but aren't willing to "go" and help the others. "who shall we send?"---------- No answer.
Dude! I want to be like the big Ise-man. "Here I am LORD! Send me!!!!"
Chris Tomlin says it pretty well:
"Take my will and make it Thine it shall be no longer mine.Take my heart it is Thine own it shall be Thy royal throne.Take my love, my Lord I pour at Your feet its treasure store Take myself and I will be ever, only, all for Thee.Take myself and I will be ever, only, all for Thee.
Here am I, all of me.Take my life, it's all for Thee."
I guess we're all kind of scared. Most of the time, it's not because we're scared of being rejected when witnessing...it's because we're scared to lose what we've built for ourselves. Such a nice world, built by us, for us. Like this: Honestly, I'm scared to live for God sometimes. I don't feel that God wants me to be at a public college as well as a Bible college studying missions. However, I'm scared of the disappointment that may come from my parents, God-fearing people. OR I'm scared that not having a world-approved "back-up plan" might lead to an uncomfortable and scorned lifestyle.
See, this is really not what happened with Isaiah. It's great that it didn't even cross his mind. Can you imagine, "well, give me a few years to get some good credit and a heavy savings account and perhaps a college degree, then I'll be more than happy to go where you wish."
No. See we always hear that a life spent for God is well worth living, however, uncomfortable. BUT whenever we see others do what seems almost irrational and unrealistic for Christ, we jump to the conclusion that they aren't responsible.
What if I told God, "You know, I know you want me here, but i've got to get a degree at a public college first...just in case." That would be rediculous. What happened to, "Look at the birds of the air and the flowers of the field. God continues to feed the birds of the air. No one on earth is as splendid as a lilly in a field! Just as God feads the birds of the air and clothes the flowers of the field, in the same way, he will take care of you! So, dont worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will take care of itself, it has enough troubles of it's own.!"
Instead of believing the Good Book, we've made excuses as to why our oppinions make enough sense to be absolute truths. We are a generation of exceptions. If it makes sense to us, we are an exception to the rule. God makes it clear what HIS oppinions are...they are truths. They are right and just. We have no right to skinny our way around rules because we feel we are perhaps the one exception. There are no exceptions to right and wrong. No exceptions to following Christ without regard to the world's standards.
Perhaps, all of this stems from the idea that everyone has to be happy. Jesus wasn't always happy. He had an unstoppable joy through His Father, but he wasn't always giddy. He felt anguish, pain, anger, and fear. The idea that God himself can openly feel this way, yet we must mask ourselves with smiles to fit into the crowd, is by far one of the great misconceptions of Christianity today. A relationship with Christ is not easy. It is not painless or fearless. The problem is...our pride. While Jesus clearly spoke against pride, we mask it as pure happiness as we galavant around in public. We are so proud of the mask we've painted for everyone to see, this perfect picture of who we'd like to be, that we easily overlook that it was crafted by the hands of our pride. "Blessed are the humble, for they will inherit the earth."
"So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay. If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too. So with a painted grin, I play the part again. So everyone will see me the way that I see them.
Are we happy plastic people? Under shiny plastic steeples? With walls around our weakness And smiles to hide our pain. But if the invitation's open, To every heart that has been broken Maybe then we close the curtain On our stained glass masquerade
Is there anyone who's been there? Are there any hands to raise? Am I the only one who's traded In the altar for a stage? The performance is convincing, And we know every line by heart. Only when no one is watching, Can we really fall apart.
But would it set me freeIf I dared to let you see The truth behind the person That you imagine me to be?"
I'm getting married in 9 days! I'm pretty excited! I can't even explain that feeling to you. So I won't try...just believe me when I say I'm excited.
What else has been on my mind? Oh yes... I was thinking about high school. I was thinking of the people and the friends i had. a lot of them, quite possibly read this through a thread to my facebook. I always wonder if they read this far. If anything i have to say about God is of interest to them. I wonder if they see reality in a relationship with Christ or if they see the same mask i created years ago and willingly flaunted for so long. I doubt christians know the responsibility they have to be real. Pre-christians can smell a mask from oceans away and will use it to barracade the space between them and Christ. I would too. If christians are the same, why be one? Just more rules for no difference. Be careful with who you make yourself out to be.
I had some advice given to me about marriage: "Above everything else, he will appreciate your kindness." It's so true about christianity. Above everything else, they will notice your kindness. Telling a person they're going to hell, perhaps isn't always the very best approach. How about showing them Christ's love through you. I dont' know, i never heard Jesus tell a prostitute that she was going to hell for her sins...he forgave her, and said, 'go...and leave this way of life, this sin.' He showed mercy when no one else would. and he really is the only one with the right to judge and condemn. He's God in the flesh. man, when will we learn.
"Well, I heard you say you would love for a lifetime
And now you complain that a lifetime just doesn't feel right for you
Another casualty of casual love
Another soul out of place, a heart that gave up
Why do we break the promises we make?
Are we living for ourselves?
Don't give up on love and throw it all away
Don't give up on love and let it fall away
When did it become so easy to run from your pain?
Don't give up on love and throw it all away
Well, I heard you say you can't change a stubborn heart
Yeah, I can relate, cause that's how I feel when I talk with you
Why should it take losing everything
To realize it might be time to change?
Your restless heart won't win
Cause you take, but you don't giv
And you'll keep moving on until you learn what love is"
Lastly, before i get caught at work...lol...that isn't a good thing and i should not do that...sorry
I guess I wanted to say that it is important to find joy in Christ. BUT there is a huge difference in being "happy" and having joy. Happiness comes and goes...it's more of an emotion. Joy is something that lasts. Joy is deeply rooted. Joy has a driving power to it, almost like passion. Joy takes time to receive and time to lose. It is okay to have emotions...it is a bad sign if you have lost your joy...or perhaps, if you've never experienced it.
There is a song that I always end up singing when i am reminded of the joy of Christ's love.
I don't know why i do, but i do. so, i figured i'd share my joy with you!
Turn your earT
o Heaven and hear
The noise inside
The sound of angels
The sound of angel's songs
And all this for a King
We could join and sing
"All to Christ the King!"
How constant
How divine
This song of ours will rise
Oh, how constant
How divineT
his love of ours will rise
Will rise...
CHORUS:
O praise Him!
O praise Him!
He is Holy!
He is Holy, yeah!
Turn your gaze
To Heaven and raise
A joyous noise
Oh, the sound of salvation come
The sound of rescued ones
And all this for a king
Angles join to sing
"All for Christ the King!"
CHORUS [2x]
Oh la la la la la...
O pra-ise Him!
O pra-ise Him!
He is Ho-ly!
He is Ho-ly!
How infininte and sweet
This love so rescuing
Oh how infinitely sweet
This great love that has redeemed
As one, we sing...
"Hallelujah!Hallelujah!
He is Ho-ly!He is Ho-ly!" [2x]
O pra-ise Him!O pra-ise Him!
He is Ho-ly!He is Ho-ly!
Oh, La la la la la la...
"Hallelujah!Hallelujah!
He is Ho-ly!He is Ho-ly!"
O pra-ise Him!O pra-ise Him!
He is Ho-ly!He is Ho-ly!
Oh la la la la la la...
posted by Lillian | 11:56 AM
|
1 comments
