Virginia Tech, a sign of hope...

When I think about the Lord, I think about how I don't understand. I don't understand how He works or moves or IS. When I try to understand it...the great I AM and all, it kind of hurts. Not emotionally, I'm talking it hurts my brain to think. And that's when I realize how small I am. I realize that my brain only works to some extent and can never capture the deity of the one who's story never...began, it just WAS. This Abba Father who's power is so great, the nations tremble at His very name. That's when I really get to thinking. How is it the people in the Bible could be so afraid of Him and I have only experienced that fear minimal times in my life. I say, is it my fault or is it the way the world is now...distracted, blind, proud. But people can't be that different. Sure, a couple of thousand years would change a man, but how is it we've lost the fear of Abraham, Isaac, David. This Lion of Judah has lost his flare? Nah, can't be...must be me.

Which brings up the idea of fear in general. What is fear? Do I really know fear? Have I met it? Held it? Called it by name? No, I don't think so. I think I've been frightened a few times to the least degree. Scared in a crash, in a dark alley, in a church even, but never of God. Not like this fear I AM speaks of. No, I haven't. I should, but I haven't.

It's for my own good to fear Him. To tremble at the thought of being in His presence. The angels...perfect beings...are afraid of Him. But I'm not. HOWEVER, I'm gona give myself some credit here. The angels see Him, able to be near Him, they gasp at who He is. I AM...He IS. So at least I know they've got that going for them. While we're stuck down here...wondering...kind of.

This is where curiosity kills you. Yes, like the cat. We think so much about if's and but's and why's that we miss the message. We miss His greatness, power, and love. We get caught up in the laws, and by-laws, and forget to listen to our hearts, the place He wants to be. The core of who we are. Looking past the weakness and grossness, He loves us. Wants to be with us. Like a true Friend. A great Friend. He IS.

THAT'S the problem. My brain can't seem to handle the awesome perplexities. TOO CRAZY!! How can He be this Friend? How can He be THIS and yet I must fear Him. See what I mean. Perplexing...(oxymoron doesn't really sound too good here but that's the principle.)

So I will swallow my big pride concerning this small brain and move on. Praying that I will not worry about understanding and accept the fact that I probably never will on Earth. That my Maker IS. and i'm not.

And in the end...I do fear Him. I fear losing Him. I fear a life without Him. I fear that I won't measure up. I fear that I will be alone in darkness and fire. And that's why I need Him. Without Him, all of these fears come true. I fear judgment. Wrath. Anguish. I fear losing those I love to the trickery of the evil one.

You'd think I wouldn't be alone in my fears... but then there's Cho.

Virginia Tech and stories alike are disheartening. How can God allow something like this to happen? Know this, God is working for the good of those who love Him. Forever He is working for the good of those who love Him. Know that we don't and never will understand, on Earth, Who He IS and Why He does things the way that he does. And most importantly, know this...God IS the Great I AM. He will never leave you or forsake you. He doesn't LET things happen. He is there. All along, He is there and understand that it is not our job to make sense of it. It is our privilege to BELIEVE that He has a plan, and that it is working out for the good of those who love Him. It's not easy...but it works.

This is hope, that God will light a fire in your Heart. That He will ignite a passion in you that will never fade. That people who mess up, who do terrible things...are the same as the rest of us who lust, cheat, steal, lie, fib, think murder, hate, who have no joy (a commandment); we are the same breed. My sins are no greater than yours and no less than Cho, from Virginia Tech. This is hope, that God sits in the seat of Judgement asthe high and mighty judge of all, and not us. That this man who murdered many will stand in front of the Judge who IS and be confronted with his sins...just like me. This is hope, that when you stand in front of the Omega you fall to your knees and say "My God, My God, you are true and just. I do not deserve this place on my own. My sins are too great. But your Son lives in me and gives me hope, forgiviness." Or perhaps you will have no words. But my greatest prayer is this...that you will not get lost in the laws, the by-laws, and the mistakes that others make and miss the greatest story of all. A Father and a Son. A love that brought the Son to His death so that the Father could call His people home. A raging war many cast out as lies. A story told by many and accepted by few. But there is hope...His name? Messiah. Jesus.


And they shall be my people, and I will be their God. I will give them one heart and one way, that they may fear me forever, for their own good and the good of their children after them. I will make with them an everlasting covenant, that I will not turn away from doing good to them. And I will put the fear of me in their hearts, that they may not turn from me. I will rejoice in doing them good, and I will plant them in this land in faithfulness, with all my heart and all my soul. Jeremiah 32:38-41


When I think about the Lord
How He saved me,
How he raised me
How He filled me with the Holy Ghost
How He healed me to the utter-most

When I think about the Lord
How He picked me up and turned me around
How He set my feet, on solid ground

It makes me wanna shout;
"Hallelujah, thank you Jesus,
Lord you're worthy of all the glory
and all the honor, and all the praise!"
It makes me wanna shout;
"Hallelujah, thank you Jesus,
Lord you're worthy of all the glory
and all the honor, and all the praise!"